A journey to Germany and a divorce from BMW imminent

The trip to the Elefanttreffen was another thing off my must do list and coincidentally also finished my relationship with BMW (broken motorcycles worldwide) We set out on Saturday 23^rd January and had an uneventful run to the ferry at DFDS Newcastle. Great to see a former work colleague at the services just off the A1, Pete is now a motorcyclist and had come along to see us. We then headed to the ferry and basically straight through and on the boat nice and early. I noticed a couple of buses despatching the “mini cruise” passengers and decided to upgrade to Commodore class, expensive but worth every penny. These mini cruises are used as booze cruises and this is why generally in the Summer I avoid Saturday or Friday night sailings, not that I’m against drink (as most of you will know)  but can’t be bothered with the boorish behaviour that comes with an overindulgence of alcohol amongst those who haven’t learned to hold their liquor.

Off the ferry an hour late due to heavy seas into a very grey Ijmuiden, normal really, even in the Summer. The outfit grounded as I got off the boat and realisation dawned that its too low for real adventure stuff or even getting of a boat really.

Through Holland on a Sunday is the best way to go, no trucks on the road and we quickly entered Germany, going down the 45 towards Kaichen just North of Frankfurt. We had all weather except sunshine, grey, cold, rain, sleet and snow but bizarrely it was an enjoyable run. The big issue was that with a fully loaded sidecar with two of us and riding at 70-80mph we were only getting just under 30MPG, this meant a careful eye was needed for fuel stops. I always struggle in Germany to find signs advising you where the fuel stations are. A late lunch stop saw us see snow for the first time, this is what we prepared for and came for, I managed to choke on my spag bolog and throw up which wasn’t part of the plan, apologies to my fellow diners. We turned off the motorway to find fuel got back on the motorway then found a service station about 5 miles further down the road, typical.

We arrived at Tomas and Andrea’s house to the usual welcome and the usual nonsense ensued, I was 1.7 Litres of whisky poorer in the morning and was missing a few more brain cells which I must add I can ill afford. This meant a later start than envisaged then a 170 mile ride to the very pretty town of Bamberg, well worth a visit, full of authentic drinking and eating places, as you might imagine food was more of a priority than drink that evening. A ride through the town in the morning was pleasant and revealed some pretty buildings we’d missed the night before. We decided to head to a village quite close to the rally for a final night of luxury before entering the lions den. Near some services near Regensburg we met some German guys heading to the rally, our first sighting of fellow loonies, then Clayton and Jill arrived on a GS12 with a Ural chair, loaded to the gunnels with camping gear and even a stove, we were to find this sin’t unusual. I can recommend the Hotel Gasthof Kammbrau in Zenting which is only about 5 miles from the meeting. There was deep snow but the roads were cleared as you might expect, we stocked up on essential provisions in Zenting (mainly whisky) and headed to the rally.

Leaving Scotland (again)

Food and sick stop, note the weather!

Andrea manning Tomas's personal bar

Tomas in full flow with his Scottish fiver

Bamberg

Fellow Elefant goers

At the digs in Zenting

Recommended 

To be honest when I arrived it was with a sense of Déjà vu, I’d watched many of the you tube videos associated with the event and it was all recognisable. We rode in and looked for camping spaces, there was snow with ice below it but it seemed to be melting. We rode to the bottom of the hill, decided this wasn’t a great idea then got stuck trying to get back up. Within five minutes of arriving we had to get a tow from the organisers in their 4 wheel drive Polaris, the shame.

Deja Vu 

Idiot being towed

We found a spot but first had to dig some snow to park the outfit then dig the snow to make space for the tent. The organisers sell straw bales which people use as seats and to put under the tent for insulation and to put in the muddy bits.

Our neighbours lent us a bigger snow shovel which was kind of them, everybody seemed to be so friendly. After the tent was up we stopped the guys going around selling wood and bought some, one of our neighbours (from the group that lent us the shovel) came down with his chainsaw and chopped it up into manageable bits. We thanked him and Archy asked us to join them for dinner in their club tent (Bikerstammtish Auzenkirchen e.V a medium size marquee ) I was surprised to see a table inside laid with plates and cutlery, they were all incredibly nice and supplied us with beer and water as well, the meal was fantastic. We didn’t want to outstay our welcome so we went back to our tent and started a fire. The evening was spent watching the mayhem around us, someone told me that “this place is like a zoo, just sit and watch” I was happy enough to watch the goings on from our fire. Guys on Urals and MZ outfits, pissed up screaming up and down the access roads, crowds at the Imbiss (a kind of beer kiosk near us) cheering when somebody done anything really stupid. Fireworks going off to loud cheers (they are banned) all madness was here. We turned in eventually but Fiona who wasn't helping me with the whisky had a bad night with the cold creeping up from the ground. Thursday we wandered around as the place got busier, the madness continued, impromptu races up and down the big hill where we’d got stuck, now a bit of a quagmire.

Tent up, happy Fiona

looking back up the hill

ideal coolbox

Happy

congestion, note the trailer with hay!

In the club tent

Our neighbours bike, loads of pics got taken of this

Looking for a place to camp

Urals everywhere

sledge getting towed

Wood collecting

Interesting outfit, look at the snow chains

This got thrashed all weekend

Tank art

some of our pals from Bikerstammtish Auzenkirchen e.V

Our woodcutter, super nice guy

not sure how far this guy travelled

different, look at the outrigger wheels

Brit registered MZ's with ski's

Our new Spanish friend Jaf from Spain on a Vespa 300 scooter 

Top bar

Getting busy

and crazy

crazier

crazier

Insane

with style

 We chatted to the fellow Brit’s off and on all day, we met Jaf (Jose Antonio Fernandez) from Spain who had come to the rally on his 300cc Vespa, looking at his bike I spotted stickers for the most extreme rallies I'd heard off which he’d been to, respect. Later on Steva and Paulo (Guzzi riders) from Italy camped next door, we spoke for a while and exchanged Grappa and Whisky, the fire started again and we had plenty visitors as the night went on. Joe from Germany who we’d met in the Summer and his pals appeared, we all talked late into the night, well until my last bottle of whisky got broken during an early morning bit of log cutting  then I decided to call it a night.

Camp fire

I liked this shot, atmospheric

Hmm it's difficult to find your pals 

Nice Guzzi outfit (many of them)

Vista from Thursday afternoon

Joe (Left), Fiona and Paulo share a drink

In deep Guzzi conversation with Steva

Steva and Paulo left in the morning to head to near Prague because it was too warm!

Friday morning and we were leaving, I was told to try to get out early as the incoming volumes would make it difficult to get out later on. We were packed, bike warmed up and said our goodbyes by 9 am. Then as I put it into gear to leave the bike stalled and lurched forward, the clutch was knackered somehow. Fiona went to try and get me a tow but the organisers were busy ferrying the previous nights casualties to the medical centre. I called my insurance company’s breakdown service and gave the guy on the other end my coordinates and told him I needed recovered to the Nearest BMW dealer , luckily a guy passed in a tractor and kindly towed me out of the increasing mayhem, he parked us in the other side of the barrier which is forbidden except for organisers, locals and broken down BMW’s.

After 5 hours of standing around in the freezing cold and countless expensive calls back to the UK our truck arrived and took us to the BMW dealer in Passau, my hope was that they could fix it by lunchtime on Saturday and we could head home. We were told the mechanic finished at 3pm in the Winter on a Friday so they couldn’t look at it till Monday, really, I reckon of the 6000 odd bikes at the rally 15 miles away 3000 were BMW’s and they had no mechanics on, Doh.

I called the insurance and they agreed to get us a hire car the following day. A taxi into town and turned away by the first Hotel, probably because we looked like refugees, we were carrying all our bike gear, tent, clothes, sleeping bags etc as we have a meeting next week and didn’t want to leave anything behind. Our taxi driver eventually dropped us at a family run bar/hotel just outside town, superb and good beer. We were both exhausted, it had been a stressful day not helped one bit by the Insurance company who were sowing seeds of doubt as to whether they would repatriate the bike. The beer and food went down very well. Saturday we taxi’d to the car rental company, picked up our car and headed back to the Hotel to pick up our luggage, At 10am there were guys in the bar having beer with their breakfast, when I said to the owner she said “yes this is a Bavarian breakfast” so funny.

It was busy Friday

Sleeping bags being dried, oh no

BMW on truck, oh no

Got the T shirt

We headed North stopping Near Koblenz for the night and then Sunday to Haarlem in Holland to drop off the hire car. A nice night in a very nice hotel then a taxi to the ferry in the afternoon  then the struggle on with all our luggage as a foot passenger. A storm was coming in just to top it off so we had a rough crossing and 2 hours late into Newcastle, yet another hire car and home.

A great trip spoiled by the ultimate adventure bike BMW, the adventure in adventure bike for BMW means figuring out how do you get home when it breaks down or how long do you have to wait for the dealer to fix it. Enough is enough we are selling the 650’s and the sidecar (when it gets home and gets fixed) I wouldn’t trust them to get to the end of the road.

The trip was great, met lots of great people, saw loads of nice and funny things, now got the badge (Fi has the T shirt ) I will buy another sidecar at some point (just not with a BMW attached) the other revelation was after spending so long speeding through Germany to get to other places I realise we’ve missed out on the many nice places there are to see in Germany, and the beers not bad either

Broken Motorcycles Worldwide

Almost ready for the off, Elefanttreffen 2016

First apologies for the lack of updates recently but to be honest not much has been happening. Most of our energies have been around getting the sidecar and gear ready for the Elefanttreffen. This crazy idea has been in the back of our minds for a while, an evening at a bike rally last March led to further discussion then shortly afterwards we bought the outfit. I've done several mods to"winterise" it, matter of fact it seems to have been going on forever but here we are at last the night before the off, bike loaded and yes I've remembered the stoves!
Ferry tomorrow followed by a 300 mile run to Frankfurt on Sunday where we'll spend the night with Tomas and Andrea before heading towards the German Austrian border near Passau which is roughly where the rally is. A couple of nights at the rally then the run home, Just over a week off so looking forward to our first decent road trip since Belgium last August. Updates on a day to day basis will be on my twitter feed and I'll make sure I do a full report when we get back with plenty pictures, not sure what to expect but just like Monty Python's Spanish Inquisition we will always expect the unexpected. See you on the road sometime and always remember

"the sky is wide and it is a far cry to the world's end. The fire crackles fine o' nights below the firs, and the smell of roasting meat and wood smoke is dear to the heart of man. Fine, too, is the sting of salt and the risp of the north wind in the sheets. Come forth, one and all, to the great lands oversea, and the strange tongues and the fremit peoples. Learn before you die to follow the Piper's Son, and though your old bones bleach among grey rocks, what matter, if you have had your bellyful of life and come to your heart's desire?" And the tune fell low and witching, bringing tears to the eyes and joy to the heart; and the man knew (though no one told him) that this was the first part of the Rime, the Song of the Open Road, the Lilt of the Adventurer,which shall be now and ever and to the end of days".

John Buchan 
The rime of true Tomas

January 2nd insanity

First a happy new year to you all. Fiona came up with a plan to go camping on the 2nd of January to get us out of the house, of course it coincided with storms, heavy rain and flooding, undeterred we set off in the outfit ,first we had a nice lunch at a posh restaurant, (funny sitting in wet bike gear eating an a la carte lunch) Then we set off to do a bit of wild camping. The rain arrived on time and my stupidity in forgetting the cooking stoves meant we had nothing to brew up on or cook our dinner, my hopes of building a fire (I was prepared with logs etc) diminished as the sheets of rain rolled in. We decided at 7.15 it was all a bit pointless, we could see nothing due to the darkness and the rain, we couldn't start a fire or cook, if we were in the Siberian steppe it would have been fine but considering we had a house 40 minutes away it started to seem a bit pointless. Just as we were finishing packing up a car appeared our friend and saviour George Martin bearing a flask of hot tea, hot chip rolls and a selection on new year drinks, had he appeared 30 minutes earlier before the tents were down (we had one to sleep in and one as a shelter) we'd have stayed, if he'd been 10 minutes later we'd have missed him. It turned out well, a good bit of banter and a wet ride home in the rain and darkness, a different way to spend January 2nd and our shortest camping expedition to date.
It did reiterate to me though the importance of checking the essentials are packed (like a stove in winter), we'll remember it on the Bavaria trip .......
A short video to show the madness;

A Guid new year tae yin and awe

Well almost 2015 over, apologies for the lack of blogging in December but its not been that busy on the motorcycling front and I don't suppose you log in to hear about my shopping trips to Morrisons or my moans about the M8, Forth road bridge, extortion of fines on unsuspecting Edinburgh tram users or our Government (that's what twitter's for right?).
Motorcycling wise the weather in Scotland this year was dire, I had two sets of visitors from Europe to stay, Dan and Sara (www.worldwideride.ca) on part of their world tour and Tomas and Andrea from Germany on their first break for a while, we also holidayed in the outer Hebrides in the Summer and Scotland North at Easter, The scenery was spectacular as always, just that you couldn't see it most of the time due to the rain and wind, oh and it was bloody cold, thank you Scotland for living up to the cold bleak and dour reputation we have worldwide. We were though blessed with a milder Autumn and Winter so far, the massive downside being the constant storms which have devastated the lives of so many people and must be driving many to despair, of course its been a great opportunity for our politicians to get out and kiss babies and say "more must be done", bullshit!
It's been a good year though, we got through with some fun, some stories to tell and a clean bill of health. Fiona and I both mastered??? the sidecar this year, great fun and a pain in the ass at the same time, I didn't expect to spend so much time working on it , that's why I have Nortons and Moto Guzzi's, having said that its now ready for the Elefanttreffen in January in deepest Bavaria and our wee camping trip this Saturday in deepest Peeblesshire.
Next year we look forward to some better weather, some more great motorcycling, hopefully some sense in the world and less misery for the less fortunate,
We're planning a trip to Sicily in the Summer via Croatia and Bosnia in an effort to top up the tan, just so its not too much of a holiday I intend taking the V11 Guzzi which should ensure my stress levels are kept high and our local chiropractor is kept busy!
The other good news is the book of the big trip has been dusted off and I'm making steady progress, I need to get it finished before we bugger off on a biggie again.
Have a great 2016, I hope you all have good health, and lots of fun (and sunshine) Some photos to finish off 2015

Breakfast at East Fortune on the 27th, obligatory photo of the Vulocan

Thats me in the sidecar behind it, it's huge 

North Berwick, Heidenau M&S tyre fitted on the front now

Clear day, nice view of the Bass Rock

Sittin chillin, hanging around in the (cold) sun

Changing the battery on the BMW means a right pain taking the tank off, not a 5 minute job

Engineered to make sure BMW dealers get rich from servicing costs
Have a great 2016!

Lull in the Storm

After a horrendous week of rain and winds which has left hundreds of people homeless with flooding, and the closure of the Forth road bridge for the foreseeable future due to incompetence and mismanagement there was a blue sky today. The first blue sky in a while so we made the most of the day by wheeling out the sidecar and heading to see the Kelpies. We've been meaning to visit this engineering marvel for ages so today was a fine day for it. As we arrived we met Ian Ross who was with a contingent from the 2CV owners club, he is also a fellow sidecar owner who's also going to the Elephant rally in January, its a small world. The run home we went via Queensferry to take a photo of the closed bridge, The fact that the main arterial route linking the North to the South of Scotland is closed for at least the rest of the month is nothing short of a National disgrace, it is causing chaos and will continue to do so until its open again. What amazes me is that the government don't have a plan B ready for this eventuality, scurrying about now trying to come up with a plan isn't good enough, every large business should have a contingency plan for when they have a major failure, why don't the politicians and civil servants have a plan yet?
The good news is we had a great day out anyway and the plus side of the incompetence is that the Queensferry road now deprived of the bridge traffic was eerily quiet, a braw day oot.

Sunny day = happy smile

Ian took oor photo

2CV club lineup

A rainbow breaking over the Kelpies

A marvellous feat of engineering and art

Spectacular

One head up the other down

Selfie time

The calm after the storm

3 bridges in the distance, the only one working is the oldest and it only takes Trains

All roads lead to the Moon Hebrides tour 2015

Finally got around to uploading our July trip to the Hebrides, contains some bad language but not too much, enjoy!